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Four o’clock II

May 22, 2017

the four o’clock brain
switches on
a multiscreen extravaganza.
suddenly
the surround sound
is playing on 11
and I am in a cylinder
a dozen screens three stories high
each playing
one of the 12 worst moments of my day
larger than life
in high definition detail
there my every foible
failing false-step,
forgot my part,
frozen terror
judgement error,
missed the beat,
came in late,
clumsy stumble,
awkward turn,
crash landing.

No escaping
this action replay
Locked in its
loud and lurid and unloving
spools.
I would close my eyes
but it plays on the back of my eyelids
it plays mind and heart
and then out through bones and nerves
the day’s moments
though all so intimately known to me
shock me all over again
startled
I shiver and flinch
convulse and twitch
mutter explete and groan

This nightly screening
the call to confession

turns out to be
a preview trailer
to the main feature
one story across all screens
rising sun, dawning day
in which Grace
wins everytime.

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