Australian Breakfast News

Australia gets up on an icy July morning.
Over the breakfast newspaper,
thinks to itself
‘I think I’ll wear my especially racist stripes today’.
Then turning to read the weather,
mumbles
‘hmmm, cloudy with a chance of rain
and some wind warnings:
better put on an extra layer
of offensive self interest’
and makes a mental note to take
the umbrella to shield from self-implication.
Remembering the importance of awakening
one’s spiritual self each day,
Australia peruses the sports pages,
and offers a matins prayer
of gratitude for the way other people’s public failures and faults
provide the daily nourishment of self righteousness
and indulgent certitude.
A final glance at the finance pages
and Australia decides it
best pack a cut-lunch of
blame chops and scapegoat cheese
(the delicious Greek kind)
club sandwiches.