The cry of the introvertJune 11, 2013
On the surface gentle, quiet, acquiescent and genuinely loving – but underneath the turmoil is great, and our love comes at a a cost many couldn’t guess. Spare a thought for your tender introverted friends…
The cry of the introvert
If only I were not so internally and eternally tentative,
if only I were not so destructively self-doubting,
if only I could just keep together a little courage for friendship –
how different then –
possibly even enjoyable this might be.
Instead, every conversation leaves me tormented
with frustration at who I am.
Each exchange leaves me desperate to dig the deepest hole
Bury myself in it where I will slip easily from your memory
Decay and be of no bother to you again.
I compose 7 or 8 exit speeches
a eulogy or two
none of them are delivered
I can’t even say ‘I’m out’ with any conviction
I try to sail across a ‘normal’ pleasant conversation,
but the deep roars up
a Tsunami within me
and cracks the surface
dousing you with salty thoughts
and capsizing me with foamy feelings.
And there around the debris lies strewn,
all my secret treasures washed up on the shore
but yet abandonned
they appear bereft as drift wood
a messy beach
a silent shore
the only trace of you is your retreating footprints
which my backwash erases in the very next moment.